Monday, July 26, 2010

Afraid of Misunderstandings

That day, in the morning, I took my cycle to repair its chain and breaks. I generally go to the nearest maintenance spot where a small school boy swiftly does any kind of repairs of cycles. I had asked him whether he really goes to school or not. He had given the answer with his peculiar style ‘Whenever I get time!’
Anyways…That day I took my cycle to him. I noticed that he was looking extremely stressed. I waited for some time and finally asked him what happened?
Boy: Nothing!
Me: Really?
Boy: yes….
Me: Why are you looking so stressed?
Boy: Actually…
He started crying. He said, “My sister is very serious and I need 300 Rs urgently. I arranged 1200 already but I could not manage the rest of the money. I have to go today to purchase the medicines.”
I offered him the money without giving a second thought.

I returned home and I was feeling very proud of myself that I helped the poor little boy.
As soon as I met my friend in the parking area, I told her this story and she started laughing. I asked the reason and she told me that the little boy made me fool. Some people have this habit of lending money from others. I felt very bad that day but I was wondering that how could I see the honesty and concern in his eyes and…yes…his promise to give the money back..?

I left from home, for some work. As soon as I crossed the first signal, I noticed the same boy. I just curiously looked at him to check out where he is going in school-time. I shocked to see him going in a Mithai shop. I got the evidence that he made me fool. His next stop really made me very sad and guilty..as he went to the adjacent pan shop. Finally he took a turn.
I felt very dejected. I decided not to go there for any repairs and maintenance onwards and not to help anybody in future.

In the afternoon while reading a book, I remembered his small eyes and again felt that he must be in need the next moment I remembered the pan shop and I felt very guilty. Unknowingly I had contributed to encourage his some addiction. I was very sad.

In the evening I went to take my repaired cycle back. I noticed the little boy was busy in work. He noticed me and handed over the cycle. He also said thanks. I couldn’t see any sign of guilt or repentance on his face. I got so damn irritated that I asked him why he conned me in the morning and went straight away to the pan shop?
He again started crying. He said I misunderstood him completely.
Without listening any more, I started scolding him. I can still understand if he went to Mithai shop and ate or bought something from there... but the pan shop???

Before I could ask him the reason behind lying, he ran away. The old man sitting next to the repair spot, who was watching all this, came to me and told that the boy went to pan shop because his uncle works there and he went to the Mithai shop because every day he collects some Alepak (a name of a sweet) from there and gives it to his grandmother to help her in sell.

The old man also conveyed how the little boy was happy to get help from me as he was able to buy the medicines urgently, and how he was praising me in the morning.

I felt very unhappy and regretful, that I misunderstood the little boy. Thank God I asked him the clarification; otherwise I would not have come to know the fact.
He was standing near the tree with his another little sister; I went to him and said sorry. I also insisted not to return my money.

This incident impelled me to believe that one of the most dangerous things in human life which unknowingly ruins relationships and may lead to add bitterness in our nature is misunderstanding!
This can also affect adversely to form perception about others and can be responsible for a big loss.

This was one incident, but most of the times we form wrong perceptions about others based on misunderstandings and inadvertently face some kind of loss. It may ruin our friendship or our relations with family members.
Well, everyone has his or her own opinion pertaining to this issue, according to the past experiences, perceptions, thoughts and nature but if we think profoundly, most of the people would agree that misunderstanding is one of the most dangerous things in our life.

13 comments:

moribund said...

true. in fast life no one has time to know diff aspects. they are in hurry to simplify every thing, they tend to generalize them. interpreting things are difficult, especially in plural societies like Asian.

Sushil said...

Nice writeup and very true.

Himmat Kesrod said...

I feel that before we jump to conclusion we must verify and reverify our assumptions critically. Second thing, we must not generalize from one or two events. For example, when you came to know at the beginning that the little boy fooled you, you decided not to give any body. This is a generalization based on one incident. Overall, life is very complex, there is no point in categorizing it into black and white. Live it as it comes.

Himmat Kesrod said...

I feel that before we jump to conclusion we must verify and reverify our assumptions critically. Second thing, we must not generalize from one or two events. For example, when you came to know at the beginning that the little boy fooled you, you decided not to give any body. This is a generalization based on one incident. Overall, life is very complex, there is no point in categorizing it into black and white. Live it as it comes.

Anuja Khaire said...

@moribund,

Thanks for sharing your views. I appreciate your point that interpreting things is difficult. We need to think profoundly on the subject or event before coming to any conclusion.

Anuja Khaire said...

@Sushil,

Thanks for the appreciation.

Anuja Khaire said...

@ Himmat,

Thanks for expressing your thoughts on the story.
I liked the points you put across. I agree that we should not come to any generalized conclusion based on any single experience.

प्रभाकर कुळकर्णी said...

Very nice post.

प्रभाकर कुळकर्णी said...

Excellent post! Super.

Anuja Khaire said...

@Prabhakar,

Thanks for the appreciation!

rajiv said...

अनुजा, फिरता फिरता तुझ्या ब्लोग पर्यंत पोचलोय ..... misunderstanding वाचले .
त्यातील शैली आवडली. व विचारातील चुका मान्य करण्यातला प्रांजळपणा मनाला भावून गेलाय.... !
अशाच राहा व लिहित राहा........ परत येऊन वाचायला आवडलेय हे ठिकाण ..!

Anuja Khaire said...

@rajiv
प्रतिक्रिये बद्दल धन्यवाद!!
Also thanks for the encouragement, it gives me the zeal to write more and excel further.

Anuja Khaire said...

@Himmat
Very well said!Right, we should not just come to a conclusion and generalize...